Why Won't You Sleep?

I think I have been asking Hudson this question since he was born. He has always been a terrible sleeper. Sometimes he would sleep for only 10 minutes before waking and crying. I would consider myself lucky if he slept for 40 minutes (usually in my arms). I got in the habit of doing whatever I could to help my little guy sleep, which meant occasional naps in the swing with me frantically trying to get something done before he wakes up or more often than not Hudson sleeping in my arms.

I love looking down at this face in my arms!

Hudson has been growing fast and the dreaded day of him getting too big for the Rock n Play arrived way too soon. We moved him to the pack n play and I simultaneously decided it was time to start getting Hudson used to his room. He had an adorable room and he had barely spent any time in it.

We began putting him in his crib for naps in December. He really struggled with it. I would let him cry for a few minutes, then go in and pick him up and settle him down, then place him back in the crib. Picking him up seemed to make him more upset, so I started placing my hand on his chest, patting his back, or rubbing his face. As soon as he would fall asleep I would slowly try to sneak away. Sometimes I was able to escape, but many times I would end up holding him in the rocker for the entire nap. Once I spent the whole nap hovered over him with my hand on his chest! :/

With just a week to go before Christmas I postponed the crib training and just embraced the cuddly naps in my arms. I knew it wouldn't last much longer so I cuddled Hud on the couch and watched Christmas movies. It was heaven!!!

Nights weren't as heavenly though. Most nights I was getting up every 1-2 hours to nurse Hudson. He didn't nurse to sleep, but couldn't fall back asleep until after he'd eaten. He went down great at night, but just couldn't seem to get himself back to sleep unless he ate. Once he ate though, he wouldn't cry anymore. He would get himself to sleep once he had a full belly and some mommy time, which was great for him, but not so great for me and not so great for Nic either (Hudson was still in the pack n play in our room). We tried making him wait when he woke up. After a period of waiting we would give him the pacifier, then Nic would try to comfort him back to sleep (as soon as I grabbed him he wasn't settling for anything, but food). It was exhausting!!

At Hudson's 4 month appointment the doctor told us Hudson wasn't ready for cry it out because of all his stomach problems. He did say to make sure we put him down awake, which we were already doing and Hudson was great at putting himself to sleep so we felt all proud of ourselves. As I was getting up for the 4th time that night though, I knew we weren't fooling anyone with lies that we had a naturally good sleeper. 

At 4 1/2 months our doctor said that Hudson did not need to eat overnight and was manipulating us. She advised us to transition Hudson into his room first, then try a sleep training method. We agreed that it was hard at the moment because as soon as Hudson woke up he could see us and I felt like he was always thinking, "you're right there, why won't you help me." So we made it our mission to get him into his crib. By that point he was taking his naps in his crib (he was doing much better) so we only had to switch him at night. 

The first night I cried during his bedtime routine. Sleeping in his big boy bed overnight meant he was growing up! It felt like it was going too fast and I liked having him right there next to me. I loved listening to him breath at night. I loved rolling over and checking on him. I knew I was going to miss him. January 9th was his first full night in his crib. That night (Jan. 9) he slept 2 hours, then 3, then 2 1/2, then 2 1/2. We were so proud of him the next morning!! 

My next mission was to figure out what sleep method to use. I know sleep training is somewhat controversial and I must admit before having Hudson I thought I would be super strict, but after Hudson arrived I practically went the complete other extreme and wanted to cater to Hud's every whim and use the no cry method. What I finally realized one day after picking Hudson up out of the crib and spending about 30 minutes with him crying in my arms I realized crying is inevitable. He cried no matter what I did and because I was inconsistent, I think I was making the situation worse. Once I decided that I could do CIO, I went to the library and checked out as many sleep books as I could find. 

We settled on the Sleep Easy Solution. A friend had recommended it. It was a really quick read and I liked that it had a night weaning plan. (Even though our doctor said he didn't need to eat over night, I knew he was getting a good chunk of his daily intake at night and didn't feel right just cutting him off cold turkey. We read the book, bought Hudson a few breathable security blankets and came up with our plan.

This is why we had to buy breathable security blankets! I was having to sneak in and pull this off Hudson's face once I thought he was asleep!!

We began Sleep Training on January 16th.The first night was horrible!! We took Hudson's pacifier and swaddle away and quickly realized that him going down easily at night was an illusion. We were prepared for crying and not sleeping overnight, but we were not prepared for crying right off the bat. Hudson cried for 53 minutes (I cried a ton too). It was torture!! The way the night weaning works is that you have to chart your baby's night feedings then wake him up to feed him before he would normally wake up. You feed him the max he eats normally, then cut it down by two minutes each night. That way you can consistently have him put himself to sleep when he wakes up. Since his waking patterns aren't consistent I ended up having to do a lot of feedings. I did night feedings at 10pm, 12am, 2am and 4am so I was exhausted. He did pretty well after the initial struggle until around 5:30am the next morning when he cried for over an hour!!, It was physically and emotionally exhausting! Then because we had taken the pacifier away the naps the next day were a nightmare. Hudson was so overtired all day and screaming/crying and it was just me home by myself trying to stay strong and stick to the program. 

On night two, he only cried for 14 minutes. Can you believe the difference? After the night feedings he cried for less than 5 minutes each time! We were pretty impressed, but didn't want to get too excited. 

By night three, Hudson only cried for about 8 minutes and only cried at for a few minutes at 4:30am and 5:30am. 

On January 19th (night four), Hudson slept from 8pm to 7am with one dream feed at 10pm!!! We couldn't believe it!! The book promised results in less than a week, but we didn't actually believe it. We were pretty impressed and it felt amazing to finally be getting sleep again! We also noticed an improvement with Hudson's mood during the day. After a few nights of sleeping well, we noticed he was a lot less tired during the day and generally happier. It was a win win and even though it was extremely difficult and heartbreaking to do, it was totally worth it!!